why do i feel im of different frequency with the team ?
its something ive never felt before until we've all become seniors .
somehow it gets stronger as time passes by .
ssomething's missing or wrong out there & things dont feel the same anymore .
or isit just me; yes we're all moving on and improving, only maybe in a different direction for me .
probably this is the difference: some people can just give up evrything for the sport but i cant and i wont . nevertheless im expected to do so .
and when expectation are set but arent met, tht's where things go wrong .

the team is dominated by guys except two gurls .
and apparently im the only one who's not able to be all abt trng trng trng, gyming gyming gyming and rowing rowing rowing .
"but if jt can, why you cant ?"
scuse me firstly im not her . she has her own perception and i have mine too .
appearance do matter to me okay, i cant afford those big muscular arms and small boobs . i believe she feels this way too, just that im more particular abt it . or put it this way -im not prepared to sacrifice .
forget it, this is a gurl thing that guys wont understand .

all the loves to derek
<3 ((: