honestly i feel like a loser inside out
why am i so forever indecisive ? all i could do is just sit there thinking and making empty plans/promises to myself . i lack of courage to pursue my dreams, the ending i yearn to have and definitely the courage to commit . i feel those helplessness within me that set me procrastinating because i dont know how, when and what to start with . and by the time i finally straighten things out, i've already lost to time by half a mile .

again and again i reminded myself not to step into the same old trap, losing control of things happening around and letting emotions get better than me . i cant pretend that all these didn't take place, neither can i overcome tht invisble barrier built within me since as long as i was born . ohgreat i've landed myself yet in another dilemma . why is it so hard, why ?

i really think there's sth wrong with me, my character .
im srsly a bitch .
im sorry for letting this happen, omg .
i just want to disappear to cambodia and never comeback somehow .